Friday, April 8, 2011
something beautiful: part 2
I edited the pictures that I took yesterday of junebugs birth while the beav slept. should I have been napping? maybe, but how could I resist looking at these beautiful faces?! seriously guys, just look. oh gosh, I'm making you jealous.....
moving right along.
It was so amazing to go back through each picture and remember what was happening at the moment each shot was taken. my friend hypnobirthed (word?) and guys, SERIOUSLY. it was amazing. SHE was amazing. I was amazed again at what our bodies can and were made to do. I was ashamed for a moment at how much hatred I had for my own for so long, but then grateful at how much love I have for it now.
I know my friend was experiencing what may have felt like a tornado inside her, but from the outside, we only saw the calm and serenity of the eye of the storm. and lets not forget the mr. he was a DREAM. and the midwife. well I'm partial, she was mine. but we chose us a rockstar.
I can honestly say that it was one of the most amazing spiritual experiences I've ever had. to watch a mature spirit emerge in such a little body to two people so totally in love and ready to help her through the constant trial of life, is to watch the Plan of God. this experience deepened my understanding of that Plan. my friend was strong. she was brave. she was so full of faith. I've always admired that in her- her ability to decipher what feels right and what feels wrong, and do what's right, no looking back. just once while lying on the bed she quietly but urgently called me over and asked if this was all normal and what was going to happen next. I told her, and she instantly accepted, closing her eyes as another wave came. and that was it. no more doubts, no more questions, no more concerns. just faith in a trusted friend (me....and that's a little scary!)
my sister and I once had a conversation about natural childbirth. certainly it is not required and in no way expected by me or should be by anyone else. but we talked about why it was so meaningful to us. there was a moment in my own birth, and a much shorter moment in my friend's, where we said, "I can't do this. lets go home. lets get this done some other way." and then the realization hit us that there was no other way. we were doing something for someone else that they couldn't do for themselves. no number of storks could drop her off at a doorstep, this was it. and then we accepted. and it worked perfectly.
sometimes Jesus Christ seems so far away, so completely perfect that I can't find much in common with Him as I constantly hurt feelings, throw in the towel, and fall short of what I know I'm capable of. sometimes He's so far from tangible I have to rely solely on what I know by the Spirit is true. that He lives. that He loves us. and that He's never far from us. we just have to wait for one of those moments where He knows that we'll know that He's right next to us and all around us.
yesterday was one of those moments. He was right there, as I witnessed Him in the strength of a friend, in the acceptance of His Plan, in pain suffered for another.
Please do not misunderstand me. I didn't see the Savior of the world standing in the delivery room. but I did see someone who has a little bit of a better understanding of how He could suffer for another, if even but the faintest glimpse of it. and I saw her doubt for a moment, ask some questions, get an answer, and then close her eyes and accept the only way to help God give life.
and let me say one more time. it. was. amazing.
and certainly it was something beautiful.