I know, I'm the worst blogger ever.

so where I am lacking in consistency I'll make up for in length today.

my apologies.

there's something magical about the beach in San Diego.  something miraculous.  something that happens when you're sitting there with the sand and the waves and the sounds and the kids and the laughter and the breeze.  Combined they cause an unnoticed spiritual combustion that brings the heavens closer and God whispers in your ear.

because of this spiritual combustion I discovered a few things while basking in the sun shade.

I'm a blue-yellow.  mostly blue.  which makes me a do-gooder.  this means that I had to admit to being needy, emotional, self-critical, overly sensitive, unforgiving and that spontaneity makes me stressed.  Ouch.  But it also meant I can be a great teacher.  and that I have a deep sense of purpose and that I am genuinely concerned for the well-being of others.

I like taking pictures of everyday things.  I love capturing the routine.  the face the beav ALWAYS makes when I ask him where his ball is, or the look he gives hubs when he sees him walk through the door after work.  or after going outside for 5 seconds.  the stuff that only gets caught if someone has their phone out.  If I could (and it wasn't creepy) I would follow people around for a week and capture the moments they never want to forget but pass without permission.

the beav is huge.  he does a lot less yelling (his preferred method of communication), and does a lot more signing and lets out a high pitched doh! to show you what he wants or which direction he wants you to carry him.  he wants to be held less and wants to explore more.  he learned to walk a couple weeks ago and has been running ever since.  and I already miss the carrying and the soothing and even the yelling.

my skin takes approximately three days to breakout in a new climate and approximately 3 weeks to recover when returning to its natural habitat.

I like the way my hair feels when it dries by the ocean.  salty and always moist so my waves have a bit of a chance to show off.

my family (me especially) is not perfect.  we have so much fun together and when I'm with them I feel like a piece of my heart has been found that I didn't know was missing.  but we (meaning ALL of us) have issues and struggles that we deal with daily.  and sometimes they are serious.  and sometimes life threatening.  and heart breaking.  and annoying.  and selfish.  and expensive.  and earth shattering.

but I also discovered that everything always turns out wonderful, no matter how imperfect those everythings are.  the way my brother never takes for granted fatherhood.  that I still haven't relapsed in 3.5 years.  that my sister is still the most loving, trusting mom I've ever known.  that we show up every year on that beach together and we still laugh and have dance parties and buy rip-off sunglasses and make 50 trips to the grocery store and bike down the boardwalk.  and watch the boys surf.  and look at my dad and smile that he's still got it at 60.  

so AMEN Annette.

most amazing beach post here.  my family seriously rocks.